I was today
years old when I learned that January 2 is World Introvert Day. When I was
scrolling my Facebook news feed this morning, I saw a post of Philippine Star
about it with graphics. Even though I consider myself one, I do not have wide
knowledge about it. So, I did my research in order for me to know myself
better. Before sharing what I have learned, I am going to narrate how I
identified myself as an introvert.
When I was
a child, I was one of those you see playing rubber bands, hide and seek, and ‘taguan’
during vacation days. I was competitive when I join these games that when I lose,
I cry a river. I am fortunate that I am living in a compound with several
children. We would play almost all the day long. I do not mind getting dirty as
long as I can dominate them. In school, you would see me perspiring during
recess time as I play patintero with my classmates. Patintero was our life. We sacrificed
eating snacks to make sure we can maximize the fifteen- minute break. We would
go back to classroom sweaty, our white t-shirt soiled. Our teacher would exclaim
that we smell bad. I can say that my childhood was action- filled.
As I
approached fifth grade, everything changed. I became a quiz bee contestant for
several months that I had few bonding moments with my classmates. This
continued in my sixth grade. I remember one time that I was watching my
classmates playing tumbang preso while I was in a room with books and other
reviewers. Honestly, I do not know how to play that game. I concentrated my
last two years of my elementary education to win quiz bees in History, Geography,
and Civics, and Science. Maybe I should had asked my classmates to teach it to
me. However, I still managed to play. But, I fell in love with badminton and
volleyball. It was the transition from childhood games to sports. I was able to
learn about rackets and nets.
When I became
a high school student, I changed big time. I am joining school- based contests
such as jingles and dance performances, but I started to feel anxious when
facing people. I love performing, but I noticed that I start to become shy or
conscious. First, I thought it was just about puberty or starting the adolescence.
I just turned to be a teenager who started to struggle dealing with large group
of people. Contrary to my personality in elementary who easily befriend classmates,
I had small circle of friends when I was in my secondary education. I can say
that I was active student as I vied for highest rank of our class, but when
there were classroom routines that have no connection with academics, I had low
interest on it. Most of the time, I dissent when there are informal meetings---
making me as the KJ of the class or killjoy. You would see me seldom during
class outing or attending occasions such as barangay fiesta as I prefer to stay
at home. That time, neither my classmates nor I know about the term “introvert”.
If I had learned it before, maybe I had told them that I am not asocial but I
just love to have more alone time. Maybe I became like this because of the
environment back then. I remember that I was bullied many times because I am
not conforming to what my other classmates were doing that time. I easily built
relationship with my classmates who were not loud or expressive, but I
struggled to mingle with those who are social.
I went to
college with these traits. I do not how I was able to participate in different
contests and events that require stage presence yet I am slowly turning to be a
guy who loves to staying indoors. Maybe the reward of graduating with honors
pushed to me to the limit. When I graduated my tertiary education, I seldom
leave our home. I love being in front of the television watching my favorite
shows. I love staying on my bed. I just want to stay away with big crowd. That period,
I was preparing for my licensure exam. I occasionally go out and I only travelled
weekly for my review classes. When I got employed, going home is my way of
recharging after dealing with many people. Talking with others is a daily big
challenge that somehow, I manage to survive. I wish that I can find a job that will
not require me to face people most of the time. I am not saying that I do not
like my job right now. I am grateful for being employed. I wrote this because
as an introvert, I wish I could have more alone time. This is not the time for
that. I need to hone my writing skills so that I can make my dream come true.
That’s why I am blogging. It is weird that I share my thoughts in public, yet I
yearn to have longer time away from public eyes. What I am trying to point out
here is I still want to engage with people, but not much more of face- to- face
interaction.
I cannot
remember the first time I encountered the word “introvert”. What I can recall
is I watched a video about situations being dealt by an introvert. I was
laughing about it at the same time, it hits so hard. That day, I realized that
I am introvert. I hope that people whom I dealt with for more than twenty years
understand me now. I am writing this in order to make it known that I am an introvert
and I am proud of being one. This is my explainer of why I am like this. This
is my way to address misconceptions about me and other introverts.
Based on
some online dictionaries, introvert is a noun which is a shy or reticent
person. Many associate this word to being timid. However, there are those who do
not agree with this. In a Healthline article, this notion was dismissed.
Shyness is temporarily felt when dealing with people. It is part of adjustment.
As time goes by, this fades as one has become adapted to the environment or
situation. On the other hand, introversion is deemed as fixed part of one’s
personality.
Moreover,
the article elucidated introversion such as how one becomes an introvert. I
learned from it that introversion is having low level of extroversion. This
means that we, introverts, still love to deal with people, but we have
limitations that make us feel drained. The article conveys the different
personality traits of an introvert such as needing more time being alone, less
socialization, struggling in dealing with conflicts, having small circle of
friends. Introverts have busy minds as we love to daydream or think about the
things we want to do or our what-ifs.
What I
appreciate about what I read is an introvert has a preference to scribble his
thoughts than to share them through oral communication. I am better of writing my
ideas than constructing them and deliver them through speaking. I am calm in
writing than talking. There are times that I stutter when I am tasked to answer
questions orally. I feel nervous as if I will be ridiculed when I commit
mistakes in pronunciation or in grammar.
I learned
from nationaltoday.com that this day is called World Introvert Day because of
the suggestion of Felicitas Heyne, a German psychologist through her blog post
way back 2011 entitled “Here’s Why We Need a World Introvert Day”. She proposed
that January 2 is the date to celebrate as it is the day after new year. It is
an apt date for the introverts to rest after dealing with long holiday season.
The year after the publication of the said post, the first ever observation of
the event transpired. It is now more than a decade being commemorated. I am
grateful that there is now given attention about us. I hope many people would
respect when we ask space. I hope people would not raise their eyebrows or have
the idea that I am snobbish when they meet me in public places.
I
appreciated myself more after reading information about being an introvert. I
will do my best to advocate about introversion even it could be draining for
me. There are times I feel I need to please people that I sacrifice my quiet
time. I will manage my life well this year. I would accept invitations, but I
would not invalidate what I feel like if I want to stay home, I will stay home.
For those people who know me, thank you for understanding. I promise that I
would do my best to deal with you. What I can also promise that when you connect
to me, what you see and feel is genuine.
Thank you
for this day. Happy World Introvert Day to all my fellows.
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